The Muse

There are moments in our lives that are monumental.






















Moments when we realize the true meaning of Magic and the miracle of this thing we so casually call life............










Moments when all we can do is stand in wonder and let ourselves be overcome with emotion....















Moments of pure joy, bliss and peace.....



Moments that become memories eternal and unforgettable, every color, every smell, every word said, every feeling.............






There are moments in our lives we wish would go on forever and ever and ever....




















But they don't.







Which is why now is called the "present". It is a Gift.








Scratch that favorite itchy spot just a liiiittle longer on your horse........... That them out for a special walk, just eating that delectable spring grass............ Sit in the field with them allowing them to thoroughly check you out and really be with them............. Go someplace new and exciting to walk your dog. Buy them that WAY to expensive treat.......Take your Dad a bunch of flowers and a bow of chocolates...........Fix that drippy tap your Mom has been frustrated with for so long, and then sit on her deck in the sun and share a glass of wine with her.......never hurt to bring her flowers either....... Call your Uncle living in Texas...........MAKE time to spend with friends....ok,ok....:) ALLOW yourself time to spend with friends,......and be a friend to yourself........



Love them deeply, and when it is time......









Let them go..........









This blog is dedicated to Jeanette and Percy.
Thank you for a million treasured moments..........

The Spaces In-between.

In my quest for a deeper understanding of myself and striving for self guruing ( is that even a word?...hmmmm. It is now...:) I swim constantly through a sea of spiritually inclined books and dvd's ( no regular t.v. here at Chateau Dot Ranch) Philosophy and the concept of Consciousness fascinates me. Quantum physics showing us once and for all what the great spiritual teachings have long said, that we are all linked, all connected, and matter as we know it really does not even exist, it appears to us essentially as a hologram - a kind of consensual reality, if you will.

I mean really! How cool is that? Everything is 'the spaces in-between.....! And why, oh why do I even bring this up here in my horsey Blog? Well, as we all know, life is also a constant metaphor, and...... let's just apply this to our horses, shall we!?

It is one of my more challenging routines. To spend at least a few moments in the day in mediation....... and no, not just scooping poop. I mean being still, quiet, centered and receptive. I have read some about the truly phenomenal benefits of meditation, and I wish to allow it more into my life, but a few things here have grabbed my attention. They say ( they? I really want to meet 'them' one day) that meditation is getting into the gap between thoughts. And when we are nothing short of a constant stream of often nonsensical ramblings, (and often of such an old stagnant variety they are on the old 8-track tape.....) this is actually quit a feat. The spaces in-between..... I love the saying that prayer is talking to Source and meditation is listening.....hmmmm And what are we all so much better at?

So..................what do you suppose we are so much better at with our horses? Bingo! Talking to them. Telling them where to go, when to do it, how fast, what not to do, what foot to pick up, go over there, stay on a circle, trrroooot....and on and on we go.And not only that, but we come to our horses with our brains just a yammering away in our skulls, a million random thoughts firing out like on the 1st of July. You think for a moment that the horses aren't aware of our 'busy brain'? And that we are not present and available for mutual conversation ( that means both ways folks...:)? And we have the nerve to say...." Oh Blaze just isn't connecting today!" To what! a static machine.....? There is no space for them to be sometimes.

I really am getting fascinated with listening and watching for and allowing the spaces in-between. That's where mindfulness comes in. Awareness. Being-ness. Quietness. Feeling. Shaping up what is presented. This entire concept has such far reaching implications and happily dove tails right into our Allow concept.

Allow me to expand a bit.....The spaces in-between are everywhere. Literally and figuratively, they are the precious spots where magic unfolds and the real juicy life happens...:) When we are working towards a goal and things just are not happening fast enough for us...it is a space in-between. This is where we learn things like Patience. Grace. Acceptance. Disappointment sometimes; but always leading to more growth. When Lauren 'hit the wall' with Chief, and allowed him whatever time he needed to just be.....no plans, no training, no responsibilities and now he is a changed horse. The spaces in-between. ( You simply HAVE to share his story one day LF!)

When I am asking for a maneuver when riding, I try to allow a space for them to find. A kind of air pocket, that they just slid into, almost a feeling I have for them to find. I do this through tiny ask and releases, encouraging them with clues of comfort. It also happens when they give their all and after a whopping 3 minutes in the ring, a beautiful piece I have been searching for appears for a moment. We quit for the day, and guess what? Some how, in the space in-between then and the next day, it has gotten bigger, better and more visible. The space in-between when you ask for the downward transition and softly hold that space and allow it to flow down, and then into the other lead. No tension, no brace.....Magic!

Sometimes on a long journey to a heart felt goal, things can get boggy and frustrating, tied up and knotted and we just want it so bad.... this is when I am learning to just Let Go and allow the spaces in-between to just be. It will all work out perfectly, and even better if I can keep my sticky little hands off the controls (!) for awhile. This seems to be especially true of things that are yucky, and difficult to deal with. Likely we are trying to hard ( never a good thing - try soft) and need to back off. Wait. allow. Be still. Nature works in a rhythm of ebb and flow, active and inactive, give and receive. We seem to get so insistent on gettin' er done. About achieving and completing and getting the result and the goal. Considering that death is the ultimate result, I say we opt for the spaces in-between and the glory of the journey.

I guess the spaces in-between means to me that we are allowing the universe a place in which to come. A place in which to flow through. A place to be. A place where we are able to listen........at least for a few moments a day.

Dedication...

" Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
St. Francis of Assisi


For so long in my life, I had always felt a much stronger connection to animals then humans. I felt safe with them, free and understood. Humans were much more challenging to relate to, and to be honest, I felt very little desire to even try to have a deeper connection and relationship with them. " I am an animal person" was firmly my belief. So for me it was easy to quit everything on the Island, and move up to a Ranch in the middle of nowhere really and live only with the animals....happily training away on my own.

Imagine.

Imagine my surprise when I discover the joy of sharing with other humans the wonders of their horse. When I see the love they have for them, their determination to learn, grow and challenge themselves to get it better for their horses. When I share the heart ache of fear, indecision, self-doubt and lack of confidence (in themselves, their horses and in their horses) When folks make the supreme effort to just "show-up" in life, with their horses and up here, 100's of miles from home and offer up the dedication and sometimes fragile belief in their choice to continue with their horse and a horse dream. I became humbled, and surrounded with a depth of feeling that really allowed me to accept the inevitable truth.......I am a 'people person' AND an 'animal person' and really, they are the exact same thing, linked by an unfathomable desire to grow, love and face the very things that can scare the $#@*& out of us and be able to receive the immense gift that that will bring. Imagine....... I want to share with you an e-mail that Angela sent a couple days ago, because it really sums up the courage and desire never to give up on a dream and the rich rewards that are just awaitin' us to find them. Angela and Ace have been together for 9 years, and I first met Ace as a pale, cheeky weanling in Metchosin. Angela had high hopes and skills enough to set the stage for a great partnership, but as life would have it, Life happened. Marriage, kids, homes and all the rest put Ace on the back burner...never given up on, yet still barely started and then......

An all to frequent story with often a much sadder ending of a dream forgotten.

But Ace ( cheeky, clever devil that he is) apparently took matters into his own hands ,er, hooves and fixed a deal with the Universe and set a chain of events into process that led to his coming to me for 3 months and Angela for a week..... he has been home since fall and well, it has still be a journey of finding time for self and the inevitable green horse dilemmas, but Angela and Ace are well over the 'hump' and on their way.... Enjoy...:) And Thanks for permission to share this great story Ang!

So Mr.Ace and I went for a ride. It has been well over a month and I told him each day "on Sunday, it is our day" Sunday came and he was ready, snuggly and following me like a puppy. Funny how they know. We tacked up (saddling... arggh) took the bit like a carrot and we were off. I kept him between my legs, and 15 mins in we came across some hikers I knew. He stood, square and still for 15 mins while we talked only gently nosing a kid once for attention. We had our picture taken a few times, he was oohed and ahhhed over and on we went. What a gentleman. I heard some motors, that were not being "normal so off we go to investigate... a couple of quads trying to get under a fallen tree. PERFECT! lets go see the scary stuff! We wove in between the running quads, struggling helmeted guys and wiggling tree to go and step over the low end of the tree , oh -one spook- you are fine, on he goes past the other running quad and up the trail (suckers!). The they caught up (I had no intention on going up this trail but since they "let me go first" instead of standing there staring at them I carried on. They then came up behind and passed me on the narrow trail. Not even an ear flick as they rode by close enough to touch. Awesome! Okay they are gone lets go find more! Found a couple of LOUD dirt bikes tearing down the trail, Monte ( the dog)was ahead to slow them down (safety crew!) and before they could shut it down I walked by the first, then by the second shut off one (why is he shut off, not sure!... it's okay I am here. Walk on) After passing he fired it up and opened the throttle BLAH...BLAH! Whatever ;) Nice ride, center of trail, puddles easy... ahhhh this is the life. A couple of dart up the hill (on the way HOME, with me having to pick up the reins -oh yah reins?!) When we got back we even did a trot up the top driveway relaxed and nice. My fears addressed: trotting and encountering bikes. He is such a trooper and so connected. I have made it an appointment each Sunday we go out, anything else is a bonus. Rain or shine, we beat the rain this time, but I had my oilskin done up like a bedroll on the back of my saddle just in case ;) a good ride after a month + off?! Willing and soft?! I imagine summer when nights are light and we can get out more how great he will be :) It is my solace, my stress relief when all seems hopeless, my meditation.......

For all of you who have had the courage and faith to never quit yourselves or your horses. Those who have been assailed by nay sayers and negative self talk tapes and done it anyway. Those who just kept trying, found another way, gave it their best shot when everything else said to find another passion or horse or be 'sensible'! For all those that have passed through my life and enriched it it with your presence and strength........Thank you.


As Buck Brannaman would say............'And you know who you are!'*)

Why is it ?

Why is it that the smallest things are so often the biggest things?

Like the other day with Carson. He spends his day in a (albeit large) paddock or with me, and never really gets to do his crazy leap, buck, fart and gallop madly aboutthat he is famous for. So after we had tacked and gone to the ring, I changed my mind (generally accepted behavior for a girl, after all) and stripped his work clothes off and let him have a good play. Our ring up here is surrounded on all sides by the fields with horses in them, and I was expecting him to go bonkers. Well. He DID run and Piaffe, and prance and visit with everyone quite quickly and then..........he trotted over and put his head on my chest, ignoring all his horsey buddies to be with.....me.
I was wonder struck for a couple reasons. Firstly there was NO bucking, no spirally, twisting, cavorting, just straight running and prancing. And secondly, his desire to be with me was deeply touching. This is a guy who tends towards 'explosive' behavior and it just wasn't there. Very, very interesting....My sense is maybe he is like a kid after school who no longer acts out by spray painting the neighborhood, but just plays hockey with his buddies, and then heads home for dinner on time. Small little thing, but the underlying change in attitude feels huge.

Like when you realize that your horse may not be swishing his tail because he's being rude, but because maybe YOU are being rude.........

Like when regularly worked horses come to be haltered from in the field......

Like when horses sidle on over to you on their own when you get on the mounting block?

Why is it that our horses are such a direct reflexion of us?

Like when we are strugging so hard to figure them out, and why, oh why are they doing something, and how oh how can we change it? Stop, feel and look at what we are doing. Like me and Indy, say are like an old married couple ( sorry to those that are....:) that have spent all that time together and for various reasons are real easy to trigger into less then shall we say optimal behavior. And now that I am trying a different approach in our relationship, and he STILL HAS THE NERVE TO ACT THE SAME WAY!!!!!!!! and I get all triggered back, and and and....oh....geez! What am I feeling.... resentment? ( he should know this by now) what is he feeling ....resentment!(I so DO know this, can we move on now?)hmmmm
What am I feeling?......confusion? ( oh what am I going to do if this doesn't work, rats I forgot to get dinner out of the freezer, I thought the farrier would be here by now, I wonder if I should go back to the snaffle, oh, there goes Lynne...oh! she's coming in here...oh dang) What is he feeling? Confusion!( Oh this move again, Hey! there's Mango!, I think I heard Cita calling, I wonder if she remembered to pick up more hay, hey, who put that pole on the ground under that tree three fields over...)
What are you feeling? Bliss... what is he feeling? Bliss...you are both in the same place at the same time...which is now. hmmmmmm

Like when we can't get them top pick up that darn right lead for anything and we have a sore back and go to the Chiropractor and he tells us " Boy, are your hips ever locked up right now!' ahhhhh


Why is it that whatever we believe to be true is?

Like when we think we are on a true path for ourselves, and feel inner guidance and strength and everything flows smoothly that day, from horses to banking to even smiling through a flat tire...?

Like when we are assailed by self doubt, evil internal tapes full of trapdoor thoughts and we allow others opinions about ourselves matter more then our own do we have terrible timing, rotten feel and inevitably the cheque bounces?( like we are having a terrible time, feel rotten and are emotionally bankrupt)? hmmmm

Why IS it that the littlest things mean the most???????

Like frogs in spring?, Like eating four pounds of hair a day as they drop the winter woolies? Like knowing dear friends feel what you are going through and are just there, having faith, trying to just allow? Like the gentle nuzzle from a horse that has never reached out before? Like just riding like my horse and I are one and allowing it to happen instead of trying to make that shoulder lift up? Like seeing a dog lick a scared, new horse's nose? Like finding five bucks in the truck and spending it on a super yummy White Spot Milk shake....and sharing with the dogs? Like sitting down for a few minutes with the horses as they chomp away on dinner, the sounds of the gentle mastication of all that hay, slowly turning into tomorrows poo....and they gaze at you out of the sides of their eyes, wondering about you, too?

For those of you that may be wondering about the dull lack of photos....there is apparently a 'Glitch' in the system somewhere, but......that would be a small thing as well:)