On the Road Again...

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

So, um, yes. That IS the ocean as a matter of fact. As seen through the car deck railing on the Coastal Inspiration ( hmmmm....how appropriate!) the Big Fancy Shmancy new BC Ferry, from Dude Point to Tsawassen, 5:15 boat. On the return trip back home from being with family for a couple days.

Now, while I think its becoming abundantly clear that I am officially no longer an Island Girl...I mean with their complete lack of Sagebrush, Pine trees, snow and bluebird blue sky in winter it does rank Vancouver Island, er, shall we say just a teeny tiny bit less favored on my list of Dream Places to Live...:) However, this simply cannot take away form its own special beauty, smells, sounds, feel and of course where we grow up always holds a tender spot in our hearts. Being with my Mom, Chris, my brilliant older brother, and my Soul Sister Inet (YAY! Dog Talk Walks!:) are all very cherished times when I come back to some deep roots and feel connection with those close and dear. And as much as I am so happy in my true home of ("Why? Its too damn hot and too danm cold, no regular services like internet, Costco, and rain, ((tee-hee!))" the Interior,(( Its the rocks:)), there IS something simply astonishing about when the ocean shows off with the sky, when all that dang moisture mixes with the atmosphere and ...Arg!There are just simply tooooooo many semi trucks in the way to take a proper photo while driving and attempting to tell Sage to keep the truck on the road while I'm snapping pictures...OH! oops! Sorry, um, right. Well there sure are some truly beautiful things about EVERYWHERE in this world, aren't there?
It is also a great opportunity to try to catch up with some of you very patient folks waiting for lessons right now, and I managed to stop in and see Janel and Kestrel's little guy, Rune. As you may remember, Kestrel is up for refreshing, and her baby Rune is apparently quickly outgrowing any attempts to hide his hide in a blanket (lookin' a bit Speedo-ish, Janel:). Janel thought to play with liberty a bit, so I started, just explaining a bit about my philosophy on..yep, you guessed it, Less is More, flight zones and balance points, draw (oh treasured draw!) taking space and here's a surprise...Feel! we switched after a bit, allowing Janel to play with what it all feels like, and experiment with getting feedback from what she was doing. At some point along our time together, we decided it would be cool to have Rune go over the cavelleti....at liberty....hahaha! And so the lesson went , Rune getting up, then coming back to us, him unsure about this odd turn of events, and how the heck did we KNOW!!!( we hide the owners manual deep in an inside pocket)and really starting to stick with both of us at different times well. So there we were chatting away at the far end of the arena, just to the South of Mr. Cavelleti, and for all intents and purposes, ignoring Rune for we were "done". Not so Rune......
He sniffs the rail, nudges it, paws the ground, scratches on it, trips over it as he noncommittally plays with his plan, ambles over and visits,then goes back to the cavelleti...and steps over. All on his own. Janel and I are standing there in wonderment knowing that our creatures are intelligent, thinking, feeling beings, same as we are, yet somehow astonished when he so clearly KNEW what we were after and was trying to the best of his baby confidence to do for us.He had no lead on him at anytime in this session...
That's Liberty! That's connection. That's try. That's Awareness. That's........well, it was pretty darn cool, and why oh why do we forget they "get" it? Just because we are to dumb to read them doesn't mean for one second they aren't reading us at every level, at every second, and it sure causes me to wonder when they don't do what we we ask....why?



Todays "Deep Thought" Brought to you By Canines Concerned about the Safety Of Driving With Wacky Humans, Ginger Molasses Cookies, and the letter M.

Just Gotta have Faith.....

The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do. ~Author Unknown

Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right. ~Henry Ford


Every now and then a horse shares with me a powerful lesson, yet another piece of the Grand Puzzle of Life....Ok! Ok! That's EVERY horse, I know, but this is Quill's gift to me, and handily enough, my gift back to her... Quill came to me as a 'Fixer-upper'. She is a sporty model, being Anglo-Arab, a little to touchy on the gas with hair trigger steering responses that could get you in the ditch quick as you like. At 12, she was a bit was rusty in spots and needed some good ole TLC. So, she spent her first couple months gaining some weight, having her teeth done and just hanging out, my time still to occupied with other 'paying' customers, and she sat on the back shelf for a bit. Very respectful and easy in the pen, sensible, quiet and a bit shy, great ground manners, every inch a Lady. So it was with curiosity, anticipation and a fairly high level of, er..........assumption, that I brushed her off and prepared to ride. Well.......... Well Well Well! She shortened in length to 2 feet, grew in height by 4 feet, sounded like a bull elk, and looked like I had just hit her with the full strength cattle prod; eyes pooped out, skin trembling, legs spread askew, hair all on end. Well, huh! I glanced down to see if I had brought out the Killer, Sabre Toothed Saddle Pad, but noooooooo, it was till on it's shelf, this was just one of those ordinary, smelly wool pads... And so began a long process of back tracking and simply ( simply!) restarting her from ropes on her body( check), bareback ( Huge fear response, no matter how slow and approachy/retreaty I went, bolting off a constant threat..or ejecting me) , 'sacking out' (ok), and back to saddling( same electrified cat response). So. Well. By now, I am seriously scratching my head, as colts are WAY easier then this and this horse was supposed to have been ridden lots, and even if she was green, it ought to be ok by now.....huh, huh, huh. what to do what to do....... Well, Fate took a hold, and she was now living in the Big Herd, and decided that 5 days a week work was getting a bit old, and decided to run around for a spell (sticking her tongue out, waggling her hooves behind her ears I swear:) with no intentions whatsoever of being with me. Very INTERESTING Feedback, very interesting.So after do a splendid job of warming herself up, she finally trots over, and and tie her, brush her, tack her ( electric cat!) and get on.( ever been on and electrified cat....hahahaha!) And this my friends, is really where our tale with the moral begins. What did I do when I climbed on that Grey rocket launcher? I took that energy inside, and took that mecate rope in hand and as the cowboys have been known to say." Give 'er a good over an' under" ( GASP!) and lined her out down the road. And Quill? She just threw down that head and trotted out the prettiest long trot you ever did see, blowing and sneezing, smooth and elastic. Gone the tight balled up tiny steps, crawly skin, and rounded up spine. We had a tremendous ride that first day almost a month ago, and now almost a month later, Quill is finding relaxation with me, confidence in herself and rider and although she is not where I would like yet, the change is significant. You see the interesting thing that happened was a place I think alot of folks get stuck in their journey with horses, especially those who LOVE them...:) As you my have noticed, I am all about the allow, give trust first to gain trust, respect is a two way door, etc. and It all fits in here with Quill's story.
"Confidence can be a self fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability."

Faith and trust are synonyms of confidence.
What's perhaps a little different is the order, and being flexible with how we approach things. Its sort of like approaching her fear from the other end, and seing it through to the beginning again. ( That's the nice thing about not having a 'program', I can mess with things to my heart's content:) You see Quill had no confidence. In Me. In herself. In a mutual relationship. She either had a bad experience/s in the past, was sore ( she had chiro and teeth done, saddle fit checked) or just figured out that if she acted scared, she did not have to engage with folks....and it did not make her feel good to be with us anyway, for her why even want to? Quill had way more Fear then Faith. So, remembering that our horses are never the ones that really chose to be involved with humans and my role in being the leader is to show her what it can feel like, and supporting her with what she needed allowing her to feel basically good about being me. So with all the slow work, all important 'doing nothing' , combined with the ground work, it was time to step it up. I had to be the one with Faith enough for both of us. Faith in her ability to trust and Faith in my ability to be a place of comfort, trust relaxation and connection, not to mention stay with her...:) So what happened and still is happening is I am allowing her to build confidence and trust in me by having Alot in her and myself. "Fake it til you make it" so to speak. I am the crutch she needs, and to NOT be there, to Not be focused strong and clear would leave her still lost and scared, feeling she was right and could only depend upon herself. By ALMOST over-exposing her ( and let me tell you, kids, it was a stretch for my confidence!) and really asking a lot of her, emotionally physically and mentally, and being able to be what she needed allowed a huge break thru. By having more Faith then Fear, I was able to ease her over from her place of more Fear then Faith.

In mulling all this over during the last few days, I stumbled upon a terrific saying that said exactly that ( how very odd! *) "Where there is Fear, there is no Faith" Oh BoY! mmmmm yummy! course now I get apply that quote ointment all over my life and horsemanship... And then when I was sitting here compiling my random blathering thoughts for this tale, I found all those great quotes on Confidence and the definition of confidence was a real epiphany for me as well. By the way, when Quill first got the name Quill, Inet thought it was bad..."Like a porcupine quill? Ew! but now, I can see that what it really means is ' a very elegant writing tool from the outer wing feather of the swan' somehow that seems just so appropo... .


Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. And lo, no one was there. ~Author Unknown

I Give Up.

Part of my goals for this year for myself include allowing myself to release judgment.
Judgment to me means " what I perceive to be 'right' according to my opinion". My awareness of judgment includes that of myself, what I believe others think of me and my actions, what I see in others and their actions, daily events including weather, random occurrences, un-planned changes ( well, ANY changes, really)right on up to how my life is unfolding....

I know, I know. At first this seems like a BIG thing to decide to chew off, and Let Go of, but actually, therein lies the secret. I am beginning to explore the concept of Letting Go ( ack! Surrender, Faith....et al) . I am rolling it around in my being and have done somewhat since the Old Clearmind Days...( Personal Growth exploration I did a few eons, er, years back clearmind.com if you are curious about yourself and your tickings and are either brave or stupid....:) but for some reason it is really starting to become in earnest.

For example.....having chosen to follow my dreams and pursue what I love doing as a career, and essentially had only myself to rely upon, I have found myself to become rather ATTACHED to the out come of events in my life. I have worried and fussed and stayed up late far to many nights, anguished about decisions on how to go about developing my work and living in abject fear that no one would care, apprectiate or "get" what I am passionate about. ( Note....do you see alot of jugement in those thoughts???????????) .And then one day I just got so overwhelmed with Everything, I up and decided that if everything Failed, I would just happily go back back to some grocery store job, and ride my own horses to my hearts content and never worrry about it all again and I went OH! OH! But that's giving up!....................................And then.............
It hit me.

Give up. Give up.... For those of you familiar with my fascination with words hidden meanings are probably rolling your eyes, but...When we say I Give up, I believe we mean without maybe knowing, that we are surrendering ourselves to....a Higher Power. We Give UP. Wow! That realization hit me bango! right between the eyes and I got it! I really, really got "it"! THAT is what Faith is. That is what Trust is. That is what Surrender is. (Please note, that while I am not a particularly religious person, I am on a quest of my higher spirituality)(( hahahaha! Am I judging myself? Or worried about You Judging????)) And a stunningly beautiful peace descended on me and I went ' wow! What ever happens will be ok. It just will. It always HAS worked out, so what am I worrying and fussing about, and REALLY! haven't you noticed that things usually work out better then you could have hoped for anyway??????????? Or planned for? Or wished for? Why oh why do we think we have such a big say in what happens in our lives, that we are so powerful that we can Control everything and everyone and shape ourselves into any number of twisted shapes to try to conform, when really....our deal is just to be ourselves, do what we love, show love and be happy. Stop all that confounded control stuff...that word could happily be dismissed from life I think.....and this leads me back to my point. ....

Judgment and release from it. Ah. So how many times have we passed judgment on something/someone only to find in the end it was different then what we thought. We got more information, learn more bout it, things changed, and everything is different and....we judge again. But if we start to maybe just allow things to be as they will, they get to be as they are....! And we stop trying to be the Lords and controllers of all we see, because darn it all if I haven't noticed that those thing we think are "Bad"? Well, now aren't they always....ALWAYS the biggest blessings down the road? And things we try so darn hard to control seems to pop apart elsewhere? How dare I be so arrogant as to assume that I can see other peoples stories? What other people see and feel? How dare I try to pigeon-hole a horse into what every other horse has done in that situation...maybe this ones different and needs it presented just a little different and to respect everyone's uniqueness? It seems to me that if I do judge, I put up blockages in the path of the Universe that is really conspiring for me to my my biggest benefit, and I think I know What is really juuuust around the corner?


What I aim at allowing to come through me with letting go of judgment is a greater ease and softness, a flowing with life, horses, people and myself instead of the friction of going against the flow..............I am aiming at is trust, faith and joy. And don't we just need to be with our animals to see and feel what no judgment and pure being-ness could be.........


PS photos that I didn't take, are courtesy of Inet Sladecek...and although she isn't here to ask, I am certain that she withholds all judgment and knows I love her pics....:)!

With Gratitude and Vision, a New Year Begins...

Happy New Year, and Welcome to 2011!




I wonder at what all the different things you may or may not do on this significant date, and thought to share some of what I like to do.....feel free to comment on any neat things you'd like to share about your 'rituals' for the start of a new chapter, I would love to here them!

New Years Eve is usually very private for me, and I sit and write all the multitude of things that I am so Grateful for over the Passing Year....Amazing people that have graced my life, all the horses that have shared their time, souls and knowledge with me, my family, the dogs, this beautiful land we get to call home, the sage, the pines and the rocks, my truck and trailer, all the beautiful tack, the sage, my health, my crazy cat , Taos, ( Yes! I have a cat!) for her snuggles, those great guys who keep the roads plowed, and starry nights with hot chocolate....and dreams.

Then I write out Goals for this fresh New Year....and these are very special and I highly recommend this little practice, because, just like training logs, it helps track where we have been, where we wish to go and just how often we DO achieve our goals, and to give you a little hint?

Dream Big! The Universe and everything in it is UNLIMITED! And in case you hadn't yet noticed, it LOVES to show off, grant wishes and generally express in a Grand Way all it can be. Think of it this way. You know how great it feels (!) to give the just right, most hoped for, long wished for PERFECT gift to the one you love? yeah. It's kinda like that! Now think if you had NO idea what to give your most loved one because they never asked, or they just said what they didn't like or they kept saying, no, no I don't want anything, not little ole me! Well how much fun s that to give too?????? Get my point? To me, the Universe ( God, Source) IS love and therefore expressing Love is it's Pure Nature....so give her a hand! :)


I would also like to share with you one of my most cherished poems. It is actually a Navajo Blessing Prayer, and it says all that really needs to be said, and is a large part of my personal goals for this year..........Enjoy and be Blessed beyond your wildest dreams...

Walking in Beauty

In beauty I walk

With beauty before me I walk

With beauty behind me I walk

With beauty above me I walk

With beauty around me I walk

It has become beauty again

Today I will walk out, today everything negative will leave me

I will be as I was before, I will have a cool breeze over my body.

I will have a light body, I will be happy forever, nothing will hinder me.

I walk with beauty before me. I walk with beauty behind me.

I walk with beauty below me. I walk with beauty above me.

I walk with beauty around me. My words will be beautiful.

In beauty all day long may I walk.

Through the returning seasons, may I walk.

On the trail marked with pollen may I walk.

With dew about my feet, may I walk.

With beauty before me may I walk.

With beauty behind me may I walk.

With beauty below me may I walk.

With beauty above me may I walk.

With beauty all around me may I walk.

In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, lively, may I walk.

In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, living again, may I walk.

My words will be beautiful.

( The photos are of Sage in the Sage, Becca and I at the Martin Black Clinic in September, my drive home at Christmas (( Sage took the photos whilst I drove):) and Indy in the two-rein.)