On the Road Again...

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost

So, um, yes. That IS the ocean as a matter of fact. As seen through the car deck railing on the Coastal Inspiration ( hmmmm....how appropriate!) the Big Fancy Shmancy new BC Ferry, from Dude Point to Tsawassen, 5:15 boat. On the return trip back home from being with family for a couple days.

Now, while I think its becoming abundantly clear that I am officially no longer an Island Girl...I mean with their complete lack of Sagebrush, Pine trees, snow and bluebird blue sky in winter it does rank Vancouver Island, er, shall we say just a teeny tiny bit less favored on my list of Dream Places to Live...:) However, this simply cannot take away form its own special beauty, smells, sounds, feel and of course where we grow up always holds a tender spot in our hearts. Being with my Mom, Chris, my brilliant older brother, and my Soul Sister Inet (YAY! Dog Talk Walks!:) are all very cherished times when I come back to some deep roots and feel connection with those close and dear. And as much as I am so happy in my true home of ("Why? Its too damn hot and too danm cold, no regular services like internet, Costco, and rain, ((tee-hee!))" the Interior,(( Its the rocks:)), there IS something simply astonishing about when the ocean shows off with the sky, when all that dang moisture mixes with the atmosphere and ...Arg!There are just simply tooooooo many semi trucks in the way to take a proper photo while driving and attempting to tell Sage to keep the truck on the road while I'm snapping pictures...OH! oops! Sorry, um, right. Well there sure are some truly beautiful things about EVERYWHERE in this world, aren't there?
It is also a great opportunity to try to catch up with some of you very patient folks waiting for lessons right now, and I managed to stop in and see Janel and Kestrel's little guy, Rune. As you may remember, Kestrel is up for refreshing, and her baby Rune is apparently quickly outgrowing any attempts to hide his hide in a blanket (lookin' a bit Speedo-ish, Janel:). Janel thought to play with liberty a bit, so I started, just explaining a bit about my philosophy on..yep, you guessed it, Less is More, flight zones and balance points, draw (oh treasured draw!) taking space and here's a surprise...Feel! we switched after a bit, allowing Janel to play with what it all feels like, and experiment with getting feedback from what she was doing. At some point along our time together, we decided it would be cool to have Rune go over the cavelleti....at liberty....hahaha! And so the lesson went , Rune getting up, then coming back to us, him unsure about this odd turn of events, and how the heck did we KNOW!!!( we hide the owners manual deep in an inside pocket)and really starting to stick with both of us at different times well. So there we were chatting away at the far end of the arena, just to the South of Mr. Cavelleti, and for all intents and purposes, ignoring Rune for we were "done". Not so Rune......
He sniffs the rail, nudges it, paws the ground, scratches on it, trips over it as he noncommittally plays with his plan, ambles over and visits,then goes back to the cavelleti...and steps over. All on his own. Janel and I are standing there in wonderment knowing that our creatures are intelligent, thinking, feeling beings, same as we are, yet somehow astonished when he so clearly KNEW what we were after and was trying to the best of his baby confidence to do for us.He had no lead on him at anytime in this session...
That's Liberty! That's connection. That's try. That's Awareness. That's........well, it was pretty darn cool, and why oh why do we forget they "get" it? Just because we are to dumb to read them doesn't mean for one second they aren't reading us at every level, at every second, and it sure causes me to wonder when they don't do what we we ask....why?



Todays "Deep Thought" Brought to you By Canines Concerned about the Safety Of Driving With Wacky Humans, Ginger Molasses Cookies, and the letter M.

From Ignorance to Bliss....

It doesn't really surpise me that I have not taken any photos of her.

She just has that effect on the world and has just as little expectation back of it.

Just a small bay mare, not quite a horse, not quite a pony, plain face and body( complete with the hyper-vigilant ewe-neck) with 16 yrs of calloused indifference to life and humans. She had zero pride in herself, scruffy and unkept, and would roll in the muddiest, urine soaked corner of her pen. Add to this a developing tendency to extreme reactions when asked to do the simplest things and as a result was beginning to hurt people. At an age when most horses are starting to become labeled as "dependable","steady" "Broke" she was just broken. Embittered, resentful, hard and ill- mannered. Somehow this small, unremarkable mare managed to bring out the very worst in those around her, and anger was the main emotion. My first week working with her, " Ignorant" was the word I found myself mentally using on her................

I would try all the usual methods I have developed to connect in the first week, and met with absolute failure. I sat in her pen, took her grazing, brushed with super soft brush, played the 'waiting game', moved her around on-line gently establishing lines of respect and communication, looked for her itchy spots.

Nothing.

She would allow me to catch her, but that reaction of running off/rearing/turning away/focused on her buddies/flinging her head in the air was a constant presence and to be honest, I felt myself becoming just as triggered as everyone else had handling this mare...."Ignorant Cow" I would mutter under my breathe as she flew backwards for the 6th time as I attempted to brush the crusted filth her mane......

And then I got MAD!

MAD, MAD, MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't even begin to tell you how p-d off I was! Here is this little horse, hard, calloused, ignorant and ugly struggling with me for her survival, and all because SHE was the one treated Ignorantly by Ignorant people. Ignorant in every meaning of the word to be sure, but the damage was done. This horse could wear pressure in some places (on her sides and mouth) like crazy, and had zero tolerance for any (on her sides and mouth) in other places. And those crazy reactions? Simply her capacity for being treated 'ignorantly' had been reached,her intolerance to engaging in the simplest of tasks reflecting it. She simply would not bend to human will any longer. This ended up being her saving grace, and thus she ended up here with me. Having lived with emotional distance as protection, and trust a trigger word, I could relate when I finally allowed myself to feel her.....

What I found under the hardness was a gift of tenderness. Like a freshly exfoliated callous, there is super sensitive new tissue. And raw fear, of course. Lack of trust knowing what would be the point in it anyway, as it must have brought confusion and (to her anyway) a threat to her very survival.

For me, it was the tiny moments of pure relaxation, when her erratic breathing calmed ( and this was just standing with her folks), when I felt her surprise when I acknowledged her slightest try with a certain degree of consistency, when I told her she was beautiful and very clever (and truly meant it) when we figured something out together......When I felt her begin to enjoy (even for a few strides) our rides together, when she knew that she was right with me and I would completely leave her alone, loose rein and rubs on the neck..."Good Girl"! blow blow blow....
When she would challenge my leadership with a couple bucks, and attempts to return to home and I would emphatically correct her....then leave her alone, trusting her to chose comfort with me, and then yesterday.............

After a new trail along the river complete with bridges, cows, and torrential rain, we sauntered in, loose reined and low headed completely tuned in to one another and unconcerned with any horse on the property, with eyes that followed me as we untacked and such softness in her body as I brushed the rain soaked hair best that I could, and felt such incredible tenderness well up in me towards this little brave mare for showing and reflecting yet another piece of the puzzle .........of horses, myself and life.

I believe no one means to harden another soul on purpose, it happens from ignorance, lack of awareness, low level of consciousness. How often does force come into play when knowledge runs out? Or simply the willingness to connect and pay attention to that whom we are interacting? To slow down and feel, and see, and hear, and be present? How often do we attempt to attach blame instead of simply trying to understand? I come away feeling we are all trying the best we can, but hoping that we all have the courage to seek a change for the better as our heroine of this tale did...

Thank you, beautiful little bay mare............

Finding a Feel

So....we did it! Just fresh back from the Island and the Finding a Feel Workshop with Alexa Linton in Duncan....! What a weekend! And Twin Creeks is such a idyllic spot to hold the workshop, with the weather co-operating perfectly as well it unfolded as 7 brave folks explored a new frontier of Feel...and broke the ice on some very fascinating depths and challenged themselves to slow down, breathe and gently enter their horses world, on their terms. A challenging topic to teach historically ( and for real, I might add!) but intensely important and the next piece for a more complete picture of our horsemanship journey. I for one, again became a student as the the roles are constantly flowing between student and teacher; horse and human.







Feedback loops of soft tries, hard spots, awkward moments, judgments, raw spots, tender connections, belly laughs, and surprises of insight. Touching the places in stillness where we so often shy away from with our busy minds and allowing the space for our horses to come to us....




This certainly was a different clinic lots of meditation, exploring our senses and beliefs, becoming open to new possibilities of interactions with our equine partner with things we take for granted such as bridling and leading, and how they can hold such learning and connection for us......





Alexa's work with body talk, energy reading and intuitive readings was truly remarkable with epiphany's everywhere all weekend. She did a great job of leading us through the fascinating Meditations and being such a pleasure to work with...the scope of Alexa's knowledge and feel, dovetailing perfectly with my exploration of awareness and sensitivity of the horses......blending into a uniquely personal journey for all.












I loved the 'Feel' of this weekend.




The easy camaraderie, laughter, questions raised, and support shown for all of that are us fascinated in raising our understanding of this horse/ human connection, with all its rewards, mirroring, interweaving of lessons and deep truths. It was a pleasure to witness and be a part of and Heartfelt Thanks to all who participated and allowed Alexa and myself to be both student and teacher alongside you and your horses..... There is still a couple spaces available for the Squamish Feel workshop in September if this causes any interest to raise up in you......:)


This Phenomenal series of photos were taken once again, by my unsung Best Friend and support Crew Chief of Staff.......

Inet Sladecek!

Thanks, Sister!...without your insight, talents and friendship, I would sure not be where I am....:)

The Look on Their Face

Saturday night I headed to Kamloops to give my good friend Danielle a lesson and have dinner, and since her husband was on a boys 'road trip' picking up irrigation pipe, that left us with free rein to talk ceaselessly about horses....alas! Dan sent Larry to me a couple years ago as a just backed mature horse ( a woman never tells her real age!). And yes, Larry is a mare and a fairly accurate photo of her is at the top of the page. Well, accurate THEN. As you may be able to tell, Larry was a wee bit, er, suspicious of pretty near everything, especially us vertical beings. Difficult to catch, completely indifferent to any attempt to connect, mentally and emotionally resistant. It took awhile and some real commitment from us humans first, but Larry is a changed girl. I wish I had an operable camera ( hint, hint!) so that I could have captured her expression the last few times I have seen her. Soft, soft, soft. Comes right up to visit. Full on eye contact. Completely engaged, all cylinders firing, hi how are ya doin'. I'm Larry! Dan tells me this is Larry's new default setting, and we got to visiting about that and she said after our clinic last weekend, that she learnt that the only thing she had to do was figure out how to keep that look on Larry's face.


To Cool! Wow! Zoowie! and B-I-N-G-O!
How true is this! Remember horses are our feedback loop, and Dan hit on a clear barometer for herself and her horse and if she keeps this in the back of her mind as she engages with and learns from her girl, she will find her way. THIS will be her teacher, her guide and 'Feel-meter'. If Larry glazes over, becomes difficult to catch ( and yes folks, that means if you have to look at their bum first!), tilts her head away or up, pins her ears, slashes her tail, crawls her skin.....and that is where it starts. Even less really. Brace, over or under sensitivity, buck, bolt, cinchy, bad bridler, balker, 'disrespectful',blah blah blah blah.


Really! Did any one ever actually take the time, invest their awareness and slow down enough to perceive the creature in front of them? Now, I am not saying we never rattle their cage so to speak, but on the other hand, there we be a whole lot less cage rattlin' goin' on if we all slowed down, observed what our actions were doing to cause what reaction in the horse and play around with adjusting them.

I guess here is where I will share my Short Mantra for myself and Lodestar....

Do Less........Feel More............Be Conscious.

What I mean by this is almost without FAIL if something is not working with your equine relationship, the answer it not to do more.....DO LESS. This will mean stopping what is obviously not working and considering the next move.

Notice I did not say think about your next step. I suggest Feeling your way. How would YOU like to be treated in the particular situation?...hmmmmmm. What are you feeling? Chances are pretty good that your horse is feeling the same darn thing. Ask again and FEEL the slightest try and quit. Sometimes this means for the moment, minute, session, week. Just like they were intelligent beings, they know how to do everything already anyway, its just doing things with us that is the tricky bit...............! If you are in doubt about trusting your feeling on when to quit and was that a small try and when does it get better.......just wait and watch. It does and will, and you will see more and feel more....:) All this becomes easier with desire to see.


Becoming conscious of what our horses are doing really just requires us to want to see it. Slow down and pay attention. Yes that ear flick was because you shifted in the saddle...just imagine what that means! Really! Try quietly, absently shift your weight in the saddle and see what happens where. Anything? Ears, body, tail, nothing? what about a leg on and one off....when you pick the reins off the neck....Now, try Less!

This is perhaps a new skill, or one that can always take more polishing and, yes with practice it becomes much more second nature and FUN! It certainly leads to more mutual understanding and connection....which leads to greater trust and relaxation.....which leads to deeper relationship and happy horse, happy human...... And the look on their faces tells it all........

The Muse

There are moments in our lives that are monumental.






















Moments when we realize the true meaning of Magic and the miracle of this thing we so casually call life............










Moments when all we can do is stand in wonder and let ourselves be overcome with emotion....















Moments of pure joy, bliss and peace.....



Moments that become memories eternal and unforgettable, every color, every smell, every word said, every feeling.............






There are moments in our lives we wish would go on forever and ever and ever....




















But they don't.







Which is why now is called the "present". It is a Gift.








Scratch that favorite itchy spot just a liiiittle longer on your horse........... That them out for a special walk, just eating that delectable spring grass............ Sit in the field with them allowing them to thoroughly check you out and really be with them............. Go someplace new and exciting to walk your dog. Buy them that WAY to expensive treat.......Take your Dad a bunch of flowers and a bow of chocolates...........Fix that drippy tap your Mom has been frustrated with for so long, and then sit on her deck in the sun and share a glass of wine with her.......never hurt to bring her flowers either....... Call your Uncle living in Texas...........MAKE time to spend with friends....ok,ok....:) ALLOW yourself time to spend with friends,......and be a friend to yourself........



Love them deeply, and when it is time......









Let them go..........









This blog is dedicated to Jeanette and Percy.
Thank you for a million treasured moments..........

The Spaces In-between.

In my quest for a deeper understanding of myself and striving for self guruing ( is that even a word?...hmmmm. It is now...:) I swim constantly through a sea of spiritually inclined books and dvd's ( no regular t.v. here at Chateau Dot Ranch) Philosophy and the concept of Consciousness fascinates me. Quantum physics showing us once and for all what the great spiritual teachings have long said, that we are all linked, all connected, and matter as we know it really does not even exist, it appears to us essentially as a hologram - a kind of consensual reality, if you will.

I mean really! How cool is that? Everything is 'the spaces in-between.....! And why, oh why do I even bring this up here in my horsey Blog? Well, as we all know, life is also a constant metaphor, and...... let's just apply this to our horses, shall we!?

It is one of my more challenging routines. To spend at least a few moments in the day in mediation....... and no, not just scooping poop. I mean being still, quiet, centered and receptive. I have read some about the truly phenomenal benefits of meditation, and I wish to allow it more into my life, but a few things here have grabbed my attention. They say ( they? I really want to meet 'them' one day) that meditation is getting into the gap between thoughts. And when we are nothing short of a constant stream of often nonsensical ramblings, (and often of such an old stagnant variety they are on the old 8-track tape.....) this is actually quit a feat. The spaces in-between..... I love the saying that prayer is talking to Source and meditation is listening.....hmmmm And what are we all so much better at?

So..................what do you suppose we are so much better at with our horses? Bingo! Talking to them. Telling them where to go, when to do it, how fast, what not to do, what foot to pick up, go over there, stay on a circle, trrroooot....and on and on we go.And not only that, but we come to our horses with our brains just a yammering away in our skulls, a million random thoughts firing out like on the 1st of July. You think for a moment that the horses aren't aware of our 'busy brain'? And that we are not present and available for mutual conversation ( that means both ways folks...:)? And we have the nerve to say...." Oh Blaze just isn't connecting today!" To what! a static machine.....? There is no space for them to be sometimes.

I really am getting fascinated with listening and watching for and allowing the spaces in-between. That's where mindfulness comes in. Awareness. Being-ness. Quietness. Feeling. Shaping up what is presented. This entire concept has such far reaching implications and happily dove tails right into our Allow concept.

Allow me to expand a bit.....The spaces in-between are everywhere. Literally and figuratively, they are the precious spots where magic unfolds and the real juicy life happens...:) When we are working towards a goal and things just are not happening fast enough for us...it is a space in-between. This is where we learn things like Patience. Grace. Acceptance. Disappointment sometimes; but always leading to more growth. When Lauren 'hit the wall' with Chief, and allowed him whatever time he needed to just be.....no plans, no training, no responsibilities and now he is a changed horse. The spaces in-between. ( You simply HAVE to share his story one day LF!)

When I am asking for a maneuver when riding, I try to allow a space for them to find. A kind of air pocket, that they just slid into, almost a feeling I have for them to find. I do this through tiny ask and releases, encouraging them with clues of comfort. It also happens when they give their all and after a whopping 3 minutes in the ring, a beautiful piece I have been searching for appears for a moment. We quit for the day, and guess what? Some how, in the space in-between then and the next day, it has gotten bigger, better and more visible. The space in-between when you ask for the downward transition and softly hold that space and allow it to flow down, and then into the other lead. No tension, no brace.....Magic!

Sometimes on a long journey to a heart felt goal, things can get boggy and frustrating, tied up and knotted and we just want it so bad.... this is when I am learning to just Let Go and allow the spaces in-between to just be. It will all work out perfectly, and even better if I can keep my sticky little hands off the controls (!) for awhile. This seems to be especially true of things that are yucky, and difficult to deal with. Likely we are trying to hard ( never a good thing - try soft) and need to back off. Wait. allow. Be still. Nature works in a rhythm of ebb and flow, active and inactive, give and receive. We seem to get so insistent on gettin' er done. About achieving and completing and getting the result and the goal. Considering that death is the ultimate result, I say we opt for the spaces in-between and the glory of the journey.

I guess the spaces in-between means to me that we are allowing the universe a place in which to come. A place in which to flow through. A place to be. A place where we are able to listen........at least for a few moments a day.

Fun....!.It isn't a four-letter word

Lauren and I were yackin' on the phone the other day ( something we are quite good at, truth be known...) and she was telling me about her ride the other day with a friend and how it was just a side show comedy act. The two horses were basically galloping down the trail with a vague level of direction maintained, bareback, halters and big Sugar Eatin' Grins on their faces, laughing all the way home...I loved it! What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon! No proper
flexion, probably no collection, more then likely not a shred of roundness..............But were the horses having fun??????? And were they having fun together????? Hmmmmmmm...

I think we all to often seem to forget about actually having FUN with our horses....forgetting about 'proper' form and function. As well and fine as it is to have our higher horsemanship goals, places we aspire to go, and activities we participate in from showing to trail riding, I believe it is vital to just have fun and be with our horse friends in a silly, casual and non-structured way. Whether it was as Lauren and her pal were doing, madly galloping bareback, howling with laughter at the freedom of it, swimming at a great spot on the river on a HOT summer day, or maybe just sitting and hanging out with your horse, soaking up the moments of stillness and peace, without trying to make (!) anything happen...just allowing each other to be together.......






Part of the slippery deal about having fun as a grown-up is remembering how to be like a kid again and it can take a conscious effort on our part to Let Go of control, be in the Moment, let loose the child in us, Let Go of our fears, and just allow ourselves to relax! We so often want this for our horses, to relax and trust us, so imagine that! We have to be willing to do the same thing....and often we have to be the one that does it first.....

Be creative, be off the wall, be zany, be curious, be INTERESTING to yourself and your horse! Take your buddy for a walk or bike ride and actually allow them to graze to their hearts content ( ok, maybe not THAT long......:) Sitting around with your friends in the field, or in the evening at a clinic while you unwind, hanging out with your horse....and watch them become engaged with your ridiculous and highly unusual behavior...They love it! My horses and dogs share a very special relationship, and Indy and Sage totally have a rapport....they tease and taunt one another, and nuzzle and completely enjoy one another's company. Sage will bark at Indy's face while he is trying to catch one of her exposed body bits, both loving the game. At camps, to help people slow down and just be with their horses as well as actually allowing their horse to be the one that decides to connect, and do something completely different. I have people sit at the end of their 22ft. ropes, with their backs to the horse and...............wait. Always, always, always this is an amazing thing to do. What crazy thoughts go thru our heads, and how it teats our patience (hmmmmmm maybe it is like mediation.....) but the gift of connection it brings is sooooooooo worth it. (I also do this with the training horses, to help establish rapport and trust...both ways!) I do suggest good weather for this little experiment, or fun it may not be......



So. Maybe play (!) around with having some silly, non-structured fun......go ahead! embarss yourself! Be a silly-ass and laugh til your belly hurts! Do something so off the wall, your neighbors stare and then look the other way, the cat hinds under the stairs, the dog thinks you are the wackiest, coolest thing ever (well, he probably already does, so your off the hook there..........) and your horse just might get to thinking he wants to be with you, too. Not because you made him , but because you guys are having FUN !

And besides, its just darn near impossible to have a bad day when you lay backwards, bareback on your horse, with your arms folded across his beautiful bum, eyes closed while the rhythm of his eating lulls your worries away and peace and bliss enfold you...........